


Death Of A Clown

by JennieBlackheart



Category: 1960s Music Scene RPF, British Singers RPF, Dave Davies - Fandom, Ray Davies - Fandom, Rock Music RPF, The Kinks (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bathing/Washing, Brother/Brother Incest, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Caring, French Kissing, Gay Sex, Inspired by Real Events, Kissing, M/M, Male Slash, Neck Kissing, Slash, Suicide Attempt, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 15:49:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17327942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennieBlackheart/pseuds/JennieBlackheart
Summary: At a concert in White City, Ray Davies shouts to the audience that he is sick of The Kinks, drops his guitar, kisses his brother, and goes back  stage. The PA was cut so only the front row and band members heard the message. If Dave hadn't been kissed, he might have brushed this off as Ray having a fit, but that was something Ray had never done! Dave went back to Ray's dressing room to find him drinking gin and an empty bottle of Valium. He calls for an ambulance and his life is saved. Dave makes it his goal, to help his brother overcome this and nurse him back to health.





	Death Of A Clown

"I'm fucking sick of the whole thing. I'm sick up to here with it." Ray shouted to the audience at the end of their gig in White City. He had intended for the whole audience to hear his announcement, the whole world if possible! The PA had malfunctioned, however and only those up close and the band heard what Ray had proclaimed as he dropped his guitar, walked past Dave, kissed him, and made it slowly backstage.

Those who had heard gasped, but the band thought Ray might just be having a bad day. His wife had left him and, ever since then, every day was a bad day. However, that kiss was something else and Dave put his guitar down and went to Ray's dressing room. He was on the sofa, knocking back a bottle of gin, his eyes drooping, and his movements a bit slow. 

"What was that all about Ray?" Dave asked, growing more and more concerned, the kiss confusing him the most.

"You heard, The Kinks is over." He slurred his words and smiled, pain behind his eyes. Dave looked over and saw a tipped over bottle of pills and grabbed it. "Valium" it read, but it was completely empty!

"Jesus, Ray, we need to get your to a hospital!" Dave shouted. Ray only raised his bottle as if it were a final salute.

"Ray's dying, soon there will be no more Ray, because he can't do this anymore!" Ray whispered. It was strange to hear him talk about himself in third person as if he were already gone.

Taking the bottle from Ray, he tried to stand him up to take him to the hospital, but he wad dead weight. Instead, he called an ambulance, something he never thought he would be doing. He explained what was happening over the telephone, and when they hung up, Dave sat next to his brother, and held him, tears in his eyes. Ray felt numb, which was the feeling he'd been seeking since his beloved Rasa left and the fighting in the band had grown more intense. Depression gripped his heart and playing in a band was more work than excitement. Suicide seemed like the only option, and he had taken it.

Sirens wailed, and Dave kissed Ray's pale face again and again as he closed his eyes, tears welling in his own. Once on the scene, EMTs loaded Ray in the back of the ambulance, with Dave going with him. 

"He's my brother and whether he lives or dies, I'm going to be by his side!" Dave insisted.

"As long as you remain calm and stay out of our way, you can ride with us, we usually allow family." An EMT explained.

Ray was put on oxygen and his vitals were taken, no information was shared with Dave however and he found this frustrating. He just wanted his brother to be okay, and couldn't understand why Ray hadn't just come to him! Hands clasped, they made it to the hospital. 

Once there, he was greeted by doctors and nurses, and he slurred the words, " "My name is Ray Davies...and I am dying."

Hearing this, Dave's heart broke and he was sick to his stomach. A nurse told him to go and sit in the waiting room while he was taken back. The thought that possibly he might have heard the last words from his brother's mouth and the last time he saw him alive haunted him. Ray as well as Dave both had their stage makeup and clothes on, making everything that much more surreal. 

Hours passed and Dave had telephoned the other band members to tell them what had happened and where he was. They were shocked, and were quick to offer their sympathy. As much as they had fought, it really was wonderful to know that the band still cared. Hanging up the phone, Dave began to pace, until he could hardly stand. Sitting, he nodded of, until a nurse found him and told him he could go and see his brother, Ray.

"What? He's alive!" New life pumped through Dave's body as he sprang up to his feet. 

"Take me to see him, please!" The nurse gave him the room number and he quickly made his way to his brother's room and entered. Once in, he saw the ghost of a man as if an old Ray had died, and a new one, a frail and frightened one, had replaced him.

"Ray!" Dave gasped as he came forward and sat on the bed. He took one of his brother's hands and squeezed it. 

"I thought I might never see you again, that those words would be the last that I would ever hear..." Dave could hold back no longer as tears streamed down his face. Ray lifted a shaky hand and wiped them away, and made a small smile. 

"I love you Dave, and I am sorry I put you through this. I need help...I need your help to come back to the land of the living, for my mind still remains shattered, despite the drugs being pumped out of my system."

Dave knew it was difficult for Ray to ask for help, he knew, because he hated it as well, and in that way they were similar.

"I will do anything, just promise me you will never do anything like this again. I can't lose my one and only brother, my band mate, and my f-friend." Dave sniffed, and wiped his nose on the back of his hand.

Ray squeezed the hand that Dave was holding and looked him in the eyes. "I need you to know, that the old Ray, he died. I want to try new things, go into a new direction. Can you do this with me?" Ray asked.

A shiver ran down Dave's back and he thought of his first impression upon seeing his brother in his hospital bed. "We can, but first you need to get stronger, to rest, and get out of this depression. When they discharge you, I am bringing you to my house and caring for you."

Ray nodded, for at this point he felt maybe Dave did know best, and he felt if he went to an empty home, he might try this again. Dave kissed Ray's forehead, and he closed his eyes to rest.

"I'm going to speak with a nurse or doctor, anyone so I can find out when you can come home with me." Eyes closed, Ray smiled a faint smile, and nodded off.

A few days later, Ray was discharged and Dave had set up his own bed for his brother, and even brought in the telly. David didn't mind sleeping on the sofa, just so long as his brother was comfortable and happy. 

In the car, Ray could see everything green and in bloom, and feel the heat of the July weather. He rolled down the window and let the breeze blow through his hair. The fresh air had never been sweeter, and at this moment it felt wonderful to be alive.

After parking, Dave opened Ray's door for him and they went inside. Dave explained how he had everything set up, and Ray was surprised. "The sofa? The really uncomfortable one that only looks good but isn't?" Ray asked. "Er, yeah?" Dave replied. 

"Stay in bed with me, Dave, it is difficult for me to sleep alone anymore, and your bed is large enough, I think." Ray asked. Dave nodded, if that is what would make Ray happy, that was fine, besides, in truth his couch was painful to sit on, he had no idea would it would be like to sleep on.

"While you were out, I got a key from...well...I got a key, and got some pajamas and your dressing gown to lounge around in. I hope that is all right." Dave informed Ray. Ray embraced Dave after hearing this, and whispered, "Thank you," causing Dave to smile.

"I couldn't get a shower at the hospital and I have old makeup and sweat on me, may I take a bath or shower?" Ray asked.

"Of course, I will draw you a bath, you just rest on the bed." Ray nodded, and sat on the edge of the bed, looking around the room. Ray believed he could heal in this environment, just so long as the two didn't get back into their habit of fighting again. So far, things were smooth, and he hoped this would continue.

A short time later, Dave came out of the toilet and told Ray that his bath was ready. Still a bit pale, Ray stood up and began to undress. He was a bit shaky, so Dave went over to help, which made things go much easier. Naked, Dave kissed Ray's cheek, and escorted his brother to the tub.

Steadying Ray with a hand, he lowered himself in the warm water, and when he was fully in, lay back. 

"This feels amazing, and I appreciate it." Ray gave Dave a wistful smile, and put his hands to his face.

"Say, you haven't anything to get this makeup off with, I'm afraid it will become permanent if I don't get it off soon!" Dave laughed and got his brother a bar of soap and a washcloth. Ray lathered the soap and with the washcloth tried to scrub it off. He looked at Dave and asked, "Is this better?"

Dave laughed and shook his head, causing Ray to get upset and throw the soap! He couldn't help it, everything had just been smeared around on Ray's face.

Fetching the soap he apologized. "Look, why don't you let me wash you, Ray?" Dave was sincere, he believe it would be the best and most relaxing way to get his brother clean.

"I'm not a bloody child, Dave, and you are not my mother!" Ray replied, sinking down to his neck in the water, his knees up.

"I-I know that, and I wasn't trying to imply, I'm only trying to help." Dave tried to explain. Ray looked away feeling helpless.

"Fine." Ray whispered, without speaking another word. He knew he needed help, but admitting it was so difficult and he knew it always would be.

Dave slipped out of his clothes and got in the tub on the other side. He could lean forward and wash Ray, and then lean back and relax.

"This is like some strange hot tub party." Ray joked. It was the first attempt at any humor Ray had made, and Dave took it as a positive sign. Taking the washcloth and soap, he washed his bother's face of every trace of the 'Old Ray' and worked his way down to his shoulders, armpits, arms, chest, stomach between his legs, and then his legs and feet. Ray gasped a few times, especially when the washcloth was between his thighs. How he missed making love.

Dave watched Ray's expressions, when he wasn't focusing on cleaning him, especially the sound he made when washing his flaccid cock. Even in this haunting state of existence Dave thought his brother Ray, beautiful, more beautiful than he could ever be. 

Besides the sound of the water the room was filled with silence, no shouting, but also no laughing, it was eerie, and finally, Ray reached out a wet hand and and touched Dave's face. "I love you, Dave, thank you for saving me. I know I can be a lot of trouble." A single tear ran down Ray's face, and Dave wiped it away.

"We are both 'trouble,' because we have so much passion to express in this world. We get a lot of it on paper but some of it we express at each other, and some other members of the band as well as our loved ones. It is who we are and I just feel like I am glad I have you around to express it with. If you were gone, there would be no point in my existing." Now it was Dave's turn to have tears in his eyes, only his were flowing. He was finally releasing all the emotions that he had stored while trying to stay strong for Ray.

Ray leaned over and kissed his brother's lips, getting his tears on his face. Dave deepened the kiss, and began caressing Ray's fragile body. Pulling away, Ray whispered, "Take me to haven of your bed, I need to be as close to you as possible." He sounded starved of affection, causing him to hastily pull the plug and get out. He got a towel for Ray, who got out slowly, and took it, while Dave grabbed one for himself. Both brothers dried off, becoming aroused at what was to come.

Dave grasped Ray's hand as they walked into the bedroom. Ray lay back, and Dave climbed on top. They began kissing passionately again, Dave moving down Ray's throat, and marking him where his neck and shoulder met. He traced a finger down and inserted it deep inside Ray, causing him to spread his legs and buck his hips. Each could feel how long and hard they had gotten, pressed up against each other, both overwhelmed with a need that was beyond sexual. The few times they were together, it was as if they could touch each other's souls, something neither had ever done with a lover.

"Finger me, Dave so I can take you with ease." Ray whispered, he was desperate and all the world around him was a blur.

Dave did as he was asked, using some lotion on the bedside table to help. Ray arched when his brother had stretched him enough, and begged for penetration. 

"Please.." Ray whispered.

Dave aligned himself between Ray's thighs, and thrust deep inside his brother, Ray reached for Dave, calling out his name. He wasted no time pumping his cock in and out, touching and kissing Ray. Ray ran his hands through Dave's hair, and put his arms around him, too weak to really play an active roll. Eyes closed, he let Dave bring him pleasure in this difficult time, his closeness and care, the medicine he so desperately needed. 

As Ray's passion built between his thighs, and his cock rubbed against his brother's stomach, tears began to fill his eyes. Dave, watching his brother and also coming close to climax reacted with tears of his own that spilled onto Ray's cheeks. Together they held on tight, each one reaching a gratifying climax, each spilling their hot seed, soiling the bed. It was Dave who began to sob first, holding Ray so tight he could scarce breathe!

"Don't ever kiss me goodbye again, Ray! Promise!" Dave gasped in his sobbing, which eventually turned to silent tears.

"I will kiss you, I will kiss you like this, but never again will I kiss you good bye. This is the new Ray, and I love you, brother."

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure at first if I should try to interpret a real event, for Ray Davies did try to kill himself and he did say some of those quotes. He is diagnosed as bipolar, just as I am. I have tried a similar thing, just not on stage. He survived and I survived because of family. Bipolar effects you daily, but it is a double edged sword. For all of the moods we deal with, the madness, there is a genius side, in some more than others. We got that great music because of Ray's brilliant mind. Throughout history, bipolar people have made contributions. I hope this story is received well, as I admit, it is a touchy subject.


End file.
